TWCC TOUR TO SUFFOLK  JUNE 20-22^ND 2008

 From Twineham came eight men strong and true

Heading East bearing bats and clubs

They would meet the 3 where the sky was blue

And plentiful were the pubs

Golf first, at Earls Colne, was their game

Standards of each did vary

Some were poor, others most tame

But old Codgers was quite the contrary

Take the game by the scruff of the neck did he

Seeing off the young pretenders

And by the time we had pints on the 19^th tee

Pounds up was the ancient defender

The game it did change for the time had arrived

To dispatch to the village of Twinstead

Similar to ours, their name derived

But their players young and virile not old and overfed

The toss it was lost and we took to the field

Fours and sixes to the trees they did crash

To all ends of the field, and the pink ball did yield

To a watery grave, Hunter’s splash

It was 20/20 in spirit and score

Our fielders fought for each bye

The accompanying theme, as each batsman hit four

Was a blaring tune on the hi fi

At 158 they were done, thought us sunk

They returned to their dressing room confident

But they reckoned without Hunter, the man who’d been dunked

A point to prove, he’d show what he meant

He opened the innings, waited not for the spinning

`I’ll teach `em to put me in the pond`

A quickfire 24, a chance of us winning

But his luck, with his honesty, did abscond.

Launching into their task with courage and clout

Rogers and Pearce too took on the bowlers

By the time they were out we were in with a shout

50 up and bring on Rowlers

He missed out on the golf and fielded but half

But Jon was soon in the fray

1 six, 7 fours, but we had to laugh

When the ladies, their runs did delay

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“Time to run Jimima dear?”

“All in good time Jen dear, after all, we are ladies and ladies don’t run, do they dear!”

14 needed from the last over

Surely nothing could make our mood bitter

How wrong we were, did we soon discover

Two balls to go and enter `the pinch hitter` ©

Two sixes to win – defeat was portended

Batsman Jones chose a mysterious tactic

No big heave him, he meekly defended

Like his bat was made of plastic

Back at the pub, who would be blamed

Fines and recrimination

Hunter was caned, the skipper was shamed

So too Jones for his vacillation

The evening wore on, the ale on the go

And tour traditions ever more

The farting, the smarting, the sincerity did flow

And the poker went on `til 4

Saturday morning, grey, not hot

And Pearce adjourned to go betting

Joined by Jones and Brock, they lost the lot

Whilst the rest were barmaid-checking

A pretty village Bures, on the border of two counties

But strong at cricket, victors last year

Defeated, hung over, Twineham expected no bounties

Toss won, we took to the field in fear

An early run out, but then it seemed to go wrong

The catches they would not stick

From the tennis court end Nigel and Phil held strong

From the river, a quite terrible mix

To detail all the catches we did spill

Would be an exercise in humiliation

So Hunter, Brock, Simon, Rowland et al

Can wince from this very publication

Another missed catch had an unfortunate end

More serious than at first we did see

Vinnie’s twisted back put our new found friend,

In Jim’s van heading for Worthing A and E

The score we would chase, 191, seemed quite high

`Til Paul and Steve put on 50, good cricket

And when Tony joined Paul our hopes reached the sky

They shared a century stand for the next wicket

And so it continued, four followed four

An occasional six thrown in

Before we knew it we needed no more

We’d managed our first Suffolk win

With 11 overs still spare, we’d left Bures bereft

To the Swan for footy and glee

But we were only an 8, Jim’s ambulance had left

We raised a glass to our missing three

The evening was a flurry of cards, beer and curry

Four hit the table and Nigel the jackpot

With no match on Sunday there was no need to worry

We left in the morning non-stop

And so it was, a rundown of our tour

Another memorable one – and a win too!

In previous years we’ve had red lights and more

But this time the red lights turned blue.

So who were the stars, who had the woes

Who would we remember for ever and a day

The truth is we toured with 11 heroes

Bent on tradition, the TWCC way.

OUR PLAYERS

There was Phil, mean bowling, his shades so cool

The skipper, the fall guy and always the fool

Dave Jones – great tourist but defender of the six

And Steve: got runs and safe behind the sticks

Paul:  batting hero, but what did we spy?

The ball in the pond - sincerely - he did lie

Tony, down on the betting but runs in a hurry

Nigel put the wind up them, especially post curry

Jonathan – a colossus with the bat, but at running a bit gay

And Jim, batting good, but similar running to `J`!

Dave Rogers: still the team heartbeat after 300 years on tour

And Vinnie: enjoyed his company – erm....next year for more?

TOUR SCORECARDS

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TWCC VS TWINSTEAD CC, SUFFOLK  20^TH JUNE 2008

TWCC lost the toss and were asked to field

J Ambrose     Ct S Rogers  B Steinke  8

H Walters       Bowled Ingram   17

S Berger         Ct Pearce  B Jones  35

T Thackham   Bowled Ingram  0

S White           Bowled Jones 60

P Wood                      Bowled Jones 5

N Ambrose    Bowled Brock  10

R Gook                       Ct Simon B Brock 7

C Kennealy   not out                       6

I Ambrose      not out                       1         

J Elsrey

TOTAL  161 – 8  (20  OVERS)

BOWLING FIGURES

N Ingram           4-0-19-2

P Steinke            4-0-20-1

J Simon                           2-0-17-0     

P Hunter             2-0-30-0

D Jones                             4-0-46-3            

R Brock                           4-0-28-2

TWCC BATTING

P Hunter         Bowled Bergher    24

S Rogers         Bowled Ambrose  12

T Pearce        Bowled White 19

J Rowland     Not out                       41

N Ingram       Bowled N Ambrose 13

J Simon                       Bowled Walters       20        

D Jones                      Not out                       4

TOTAL 153-6  (20 OVERS)

Did not bat:  R Brock, D Rogers, V Reed, P Steinke

TWCC lost by 7 runs

TWCC VS BURES CC, SUFFOLK  21^TH JUNE 2008

TWCC won the toss and opted to field

BURES INNINGS

C Ayres                      Run out   9

D Warden      Bowled Steinke 17

T Skinner         Ct Sub (Fearless) Bowled Brock  76

J Lee               Bowled Steinke        39

S Ayres                       Bowled Ingram  23

M Harries       not out    14

M Mitchell     not out 0

TOTAL  191-5  (37 OVERS)     

BOWLING FIGURES

N Ingram           11-2-24-1

J Simon                           4-0-33-0     

P Hunter             5-0-45-0

P Steinke            8-3-21-2

R Brock                           7-0-44-1

D Jones                             2-0-12-0            

TWCC BATTING

P Hunter         LBW  Bowled Mitchell   73

S Rogers         Bowled McKenna     17

T Pearce        Not out                 74

J Rowland     Not out                  9  

TOTAL 192-2  (26 OVERS)

Did not bat: N Ingram J Simon, T Fearless, D Jones,  R Brock, D Rogers, P Steinke

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